We Are All Prostitutes

Prostitution is one serious ‘profession’ which even the prostitutes are likely not comfortable to associate with.

Yes, it has something to do with our clime, where pretence and hypocrisy is the bane of a handful of us.

Religion has succeeded in adding salt and pepper to a very fresh injury and unfortunately, there is really nothing much we can do.

Sex and everything related to it is a taboo which shouldn’t be discussed openly, yet social vices like rape, linger on notwithstanding.

During a face-off, the greatest weapon anyone could use to gag up an opponent most especially a female is by calling her a prostitute.

Funny enough, it was potent enough in those days, but times have actually changed. Prostitution as a score point during an altercation with a woman has become as stale as the hairs in between the butt cheeks. It no longer has any effect, but it seems not quite a number of people have understood that fact.

Sometime ago, I got into an argument with a tricycle rider, let me not go into details of describing him to save you some nauseating experience.

Well, it wasn’t an argument per se, he was actually having an argument with a young woman who out of anger dropped her money on his seat and walked away.

She had gone several miles away from the spot yet this tricycle rider wouldn’t stop hurling abuses at her, so out of concern, I pleaded with him to calm down since the young lady was far gone already. I never really knew I had hit the wrong chord. He picked on me and continued from where he stopped with the other lady who at the time must have gotten to her destination and probably having some freshening up while I was right inside the tricycle bearing the brunt of trying to be a good Samaritan.

Oh well, mine isn’t the kind of mouth you would dare and come back subsequently especially when luck smiles at you and I eventually decide to engage you.

Out of sheer benevolence (or call it whatever you care), I engaged the young tricycle driver and at some point, he threatened to stop his tricycle to beat me up. LOL.

Of course, the rest of the passengers were my support system, they were apparently enjoying the banters that it appeared like we formed a team (maybe Super Falcons inside keke).

The climax came and the tricycle rider went... ‘If I tell you the thing I get for mind to tell you, you no go survive am…’.

Gracious me! Spill it already darling driver and while he was in the business of making up his mind, I helped him out by dropping the bombshell.

‘I am a prostitute right?’, Isn’t that what you are trying to consult your village oracles to say? Oh yeah, I am a big fat prostitute without shame…’ I continued.

’I have lots of customers and as I speak to you right now, one of my customers is waiting patiently for me to arrive.’

Of course, it rendered him totally speechless and that was the end of that argument.

You got the drift right? No, I am not a prostitute, never intend to be one in the nearest future either (I could be one if I choose to).

If I hadn’t come forward to say all of that, he would have spilled it like some hot oil and then of course felt like he had won some medal for insulting a young stubborn lady.

Any young lady who has never been called an ‘ashawo’, ‘olosho’ or the almighty prostitute is definitely an alien in Nigeria.

The society feels like it is the greatest insult of all time that will gag any lady up at the mention of it because nobody wants to be so embarrassed in public, but then times have really changed.

Gone are days when ladies feel ashamed to be called a prostitute in public, in fact, they take the bulls by the horns these days by helping the guys out.

We are all prostitutes, so get another line next time and don’t appear like you just resurrected from 1850 while we are in 2017.

Enough of the bull crap guys! We can be civil at least for the sake of generations unborn.